Monday, January 14

Jessica's Fault

Dallas Cowboys (American football) fans have, on average, the same number of brain cells afforded your legendary Big Haired Texas Wummun. Thus, today they're seeking a single source for their frustration at losing in the first round of the playoffs to a team (New York Giants) they'd already beaten twice this year.

That target is Jessica Simpson.

And thus, I am amused. You see, the Star Quarterback of the Dallas Cowboys - Tony Romo - was doing just fine thankyouverymuch until he and Jessica hooked up a few months ago. Then, his performance (onfield) started nose-diving. The local wimmin who would've been happy to Have His Baby weren't as fixated anymore. Now, the season is over and the city (well, not all of us) is in a state of complete, utter shock. We're talking catatonic stupor. I won't be surprised if there's no mail delivery, the stores all close at noon, and people start wearing black armbands until pre-season.

Rumor has is that the TSA folks at DFW airport have been given orders to turn back any plane with Jessica Simpson onboard. Her posters have been removed from the local stores, and parents who named their daughters "Jessica" are queued up -- blocks long -- at the courthouse, seeking NAME CHANGE PETITIONS.

Oh, the humanity.
Tuesday morning update: worth noting that the US Mail delivery was the latest I can ever remember: sometime after sunset, but before 8:30pm when I checked the mailbox "one last time". Coincidence? Not a chance.

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