"if you're making your way from one compartment to another, and someone's standing in the hatch, odds are it's a Marine"was one I remember. Craig (not a -Bob) is a Vietnam veteran, and after a brief negotiation, he and I agreed to these well-known platitudes:
If it moves, salute it.
If if doesn't move, paint it.*
If it moves and shouldn't, use duct tape.
If it doesn't move and should, use WD-40.
* Navy: .. stow it.