coming soon: Microsoft Chutzpah

English Microsoft
patch : update
bug   : (word does not exist in Microsoft)

Microsoft apparently likes the term "Security Tuesday" rather than "Patch Tuesday" since Everybody Knows™ that there are no BUGS IN MICROSOFT SOFTWARE.

Word is that this month's patches (usually issued after 5pm, on the 2nd Tuesday) will include 9 or more Critical ones. I think "Critical" translates to "install this, or every hacker in the country will personally target your machine for the flaw". Fun reading: Microsoft Security Bulletin Advance Notification (their lessons in doublespeak have paid off handsomely).

I've also read about the way they're abusing Microsoft Genuine Advantage to spy on us daily (not just when we need a patch .. er .. update). A fun article about this is eWeek's Big Microsoft Brother which shows that this tiger hasn't changed it's stripes at all. Not only do they offer an anti-spyware product (now in Beta) but they cheerfully install their own spyware on millions of PCs. How's that for chutzpah?

where the west begins

Yesterday, I went to Cedar Hill (Texas) to look around. Who knew there would be so many cedar trees there?

Today, I had breakfast with HayJax and Christine; we were the first ones in the restaurant for the first 30 minutes. I wonder why so many people sleep in on Sunday?

I've been working on a Mexican-English translation table for a few weeks. Today I added Goofajew ("Good for you!"). Two of my other favorites are Hobbanidae ("Have a nice day") and Fybo-Yay ($5.08). Eventually I'll write a book. Assuming one hasn't been done already.

Tonight, the area streets will be deserted after 7:45pm due to something called "The Mavs Game 2". Last night (to demonstrate our Texas Hospitality) 11 people were shot while waiting to get their (valet) cars. Two guys from Missouri (basketball fans in town for The Big Games?) apparently took exception to a husband not wanting them to flirt with his wife. Maybe she wasn't "marked" appropriately? I like the Hindu way of putting a big dot (bindi) in the middle of a woman's forehead: red for married and black for single .. much less confusion. Anyway, the local headline read: "Gunfire wounds 11 near downtown bar". Well, at least they were neighborly enough to allow witnesses to get their license plate number.

It'll be interesting to see if the TV People interview whoever's sitting in Section 121 Row E seats 4-5-6-7. Some entrepreneur sold and resold the same seats (counterfeit tickets) at least three times, before getting busted by Dallas Police. Oops. (See "Counterfeiters cash in on Mavs mania")

the demise of the $10 bill

In the past several months, I've noticed the reluctance (?) of retailers to give me a $10 bill in change; rather, they commonly hand me two $5 bills instead. This has happened to me dozens of times (given that ATMs love to dispense $20 bills, it's only natural that I start with twenties and end up with a mix of 10/5/1* bills).

So .. what is it with the $10 bill that makes merchants want to hoard them? Or am I just imagining things?

* $2 bills? Yeah, right. Like you've seen one of those outside a theme park, or a survey, within the last twenty years.

When Gene Bob becomes King, he'll make the $1 bill (paper) illegal, and mandate a redesigned $1 coin (maybe with a hole in the middle). I'll also get rid of the penny (1¢ coin) and replace it with a 2¢ coin, with Dilbert's face on the front. All change would be rounded to the nearest 2¢.

Deep thought #666: have you ever noticed how members of the KKK won't accept a penny as change, because it has Abraham Lincoln's photo on the face? I suspect they think a penny in their hand would burn through their flesh.

And everyone would live happily ever after. The End.

Thank you for calling at&t; how may I annoy you today?

Disclaimer: all rates mentioned in this entry are rounded up. Years ago, some Marketing Fool was led to believe that the Great Huddled Masses (consumers) will flock to a $17.99 price, yet bypass the same item for $18. That doesn't work on me, so .. deal with it.

I've had DSL service for several years, the last few with SBC. Now that they've changed their name to "at&t" they're starting to annoy me more. I'm sure it's just coincidence, because the old AT&T (all caps) used to annoy me with a passion.

The "DSL Pro" package* I'm on offers reasonable speed (~2.5 Mbps up / ~512 Kbps down). The Full List Price has been $35 a month for quite some time, but promotions are available to reduce that to $22 a month. The problem is that when the promotional period ends (6 months in the recent case) the discounts are no longer applied and -- surprise -- your next bill rises accordingly.

* renamed "AT&T Yahoo! High Speed Internet Pro Package" just because it rolls off the tongue better

So, today I called to complain about this defacto price increase. After being put on hold for 8 minutes - twice - total 16 minutes - the human advised: "We don't have the $22/month plan for 6 months anymore, but we are offering a $20/month plan for 12 months." Okay, fine.

After the call was over, I moseyed over to their website to investigate the various calling plans available - perhaps one of those packages would be a good fit? While there, I noticed that the DSL package could've been had for $18 a month if I'd just signed up online. They never mentioned that during the call, so the $2 must go to staff the call center, huh?

Downside: now I can't move to Minot until after 15 June 2007, when this plan expires and at&t silently raises my rate back to $35/month.

what's Gene Bob watching?

Here's what's on my TiVo Season Pass™ (DirecTV) today:

stuff in italics airs infrequently - at least the first runs

1-10 The Amazing Race; The Daily Show with Jon Stewart; NBC5 News at 10pm; The Colbert Report; Star Trek: Enterprise; Scrubs; ABC World News Tonight; CBS News Sunday Morning; Law & Order: Special Victims Unit; Law & Order: Criminal Intent

11-20 Law & Order; 60 Minutes; POV; NOW; The Office (US); America's Most Wanted; Stand Up Nation with Greg Giraldo; Dallas SWAT; Cops; Saturday Night Live

21-30 The Tonight Show with Jay Leno; All-American Festivals; South Park; Queer Eye for the Straight Guy; Taste of America with Mark Decarlo; Monk; Family Guy; King of the Hill; Rescue Me; The Simpsons

31-42 The Closer; Positively TEXAS!; Texas Country Reporter; My Name Is Earl; American Dad; Texas SWAT; Mind of Mencia; Alaska Magazine TV; Last Comic Standing; Foreign Exchange with Fareed Zacharia; Yearbook; Nightline

deletions since January: The Biggest Loser; Street Smarts; Airline; Late Show with David Letterman; MXC; Airline UK; Insights

Disclaimers:
0- I didn't routinely watch Star Trek:Enterprise when it first aired in 2001, so I'm catching up on selected episodes;
1- many of the shows are in summer reruns now, but will restart in the fall;
2- they're not necessarily in order, as new stuff gets added to the bottom of the list and it often takes me weeks to move it up in the heirarchy*;

* which is important when more than two shows are on at the same time. in that case, the top dog in the heirarchy wins

3- only a few of these are local to Dallas: NBC5 news and Positively TEXAS;
4- I've enabled "First Run Only" for most;
5- TiVo's FastForward button and I are very good friends. I seldom watch more than 12 minutes of The Tonight Show, for example;
6- My choice of local news is predicated on which has the most reliable schedule as far as TiVo is concerned. Some local news is repeated overnight and then conflicts with other shows being recorded In The Wee Hours. Channel 5 (an NBC affiliate) seems to be the most predictable, so they get my nod.

out of print .. permanently

I think it was mid-April when I went to Raytheon's website and ordered a copy of the (free) book "Swanson's Unwritten Rules of Management", after it was recommended by someone. A few weeks later, Raytheon CEO William H. Swanson admitted to plagiarism. So, imagine my amusement when this arrived in the snail-mail:

 

Happy, Happy, Joy .. oh, who am I kidding?

I haven't done much blogging lately. I'm just not motivated. It's our busiest time of the year at work, and that was helped along with the announcement of 4500 (± 500) layoffs coming Real Soon Now. Stock analysts wanted twice that. What can I say, but .. here we go again.

Karl Rove's signature was all over this week's "Gay Marriage Vote" in the US Senate. Watch for TV ads this fall from CFRP (Republicans) members using this one vote against their Democrat challengers. I can hear the voiceover now:

"Are Yew Gonna Vote Fer This Libberal Demmy-Krat Who Wants Yer Son To Marry The Boy Nexx Doar? Well ARE YEW??"

Their predictability has grown tiring, but there will be millions who cower in fear and will vote however their preechers tell `em to this fall.

I was surprised to hear Jon Stewart really going after a guest - when he took William Bennett to task for his pro-discrimination tactics. Heck, for amusement I watched about 4 minutes of Bill O'Reilly (on the Right Wing News channel) and watched him lie, lie and lie some more. BO-RING.

Time to sleep early. I'm starting to get the hang of my Timex Auto-Set Clock Radio (with built-in crickets).

If you need more thrills, see my updated Sundry on Thursday blog. Woo hoo.