Britney and Paris! Britney and Paris!

How bad does John McCain want to avoid talking about real issues? He's running ads with Britney and Paris.

Is that what Americans are concerned about? Britney and Paris?

Do you want to know how we are going to right the ship of our economy? Or do you want to hear about Britney and Paris?

Want to talk about how we are going to extract our troops from Iraq? Or do you want to hear about Britney and Paris?

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(no, I didn't write this .. kudos to Talking Points Memo)

Update: Ed Cognoski agrees, in this scathing blog: Race and politics

news item: Jesse Helms died Friday

Deep Thoughts:

1. I wonder who His family will choose to be pallbearers? (see photo at right)
    
2. It's a pity He (R-North Carolina) chose to die on the 4th of July; that will forever taint this holiday.
   
   I was amused at PZ's take on the timing: the fireworks will forever be a celebration of His death. Hmmm.
    
3. I wonder if Fox "News" will cover the funeral live, with all the "reporters" wearing black armbands.

Take Me Home, Country Roads

June is an odd time of year to start the TV season, but .. one of the items on my TiVo Season Pass came to life: the [30 Days] season opener. This episode, Morgan Spurlock personally explored the life of a West Virginia coal miner (most of the time he acts as director, but this time he was in front of the camera).

As usual with Morgan's documentaries, I learned many things, but was left with more questions unanswered; this episode could easily have been two hours instead of one.

Several of the scenes had to be subtitled, due to the miner's mumbling. With that in mind, I was amused to see The Onion delivering this audio item: West Virginia Holds Its First Pronunciation Bee.

Also, none of the miners were minorities; perhaps that's why Clinton did so well there .. one of the few places in the US where it's nearly impossible to find someone who isn't white. West Virginians are clearly terrified of half-black people! I suspect the same is true for all other minorities, too. Worth noting that John Denver's epic song about the state doesn't mention anything about "darkies, Jews, gays, Asians, Latinos ...", none of which apparently exist Up In The Hills.

Kentucky battles West Virginia for "Most Racist" Title

The upcoming Oregon and Kentucky primaries (next Tuesday) will tell which one is more racist than West Virginia - my money's on Kentucky, easily.

A long time ago, I lived in Kentucky and know that they are indeed racist .. the question is .. how much? They didn't appear to be more inbred than West Virginia, but we'll know next Tuesday night, after we see if The Clinton's new pro-Klan tactic* equates to votes.

Meanwhile, every time I see Hillary yelling at Her remaining supporters, I can't help but think that even Don Quixote would be laughing.

Oregon, beside having more electoral votes (52 v 51), is a far more sane place, and is expected to vote for Obama. Then, to wrap it all up, there's Puerto Rico (55 delegates) on June 1st, followed by Montana (16) and South Dakota (15) on June 3rd.

* targeting uneducated White [sic] voters

Update: Kentucky went Clinton by 35 points, while West Virginia went Clinton by 40 .. making West Virginia the Racist Capital of the Country .. by 5%. Kentucky vows to become more racist in the 2012 election, since they don't like to be second.

waiting for April

I wonder if there are as many racists in Pennsylvania as there are in neighboring Ohio; I guess we'll know on April 22nd.

Separately, the US military death toll may hit 4,000 before then .. we're at 3,984 now, best I can tell.

random observations

Texas' primary election is March 4 .. about 30 days away.

observation #1: I personally believe that US Americans .. in the coming four weeks .. Mike Huckabee will pass John McCain to win the Texas Republic [sic] primary (he's behind 33-43 at the moment, but that will change). I also predict that Hillary Clinton will win the Democratic primary (she's ahead 48-38 now), mainly due to the large number of both bigots and poorly-educated religious zealots that somehow got voter registration cards. I know the polls are currently showing McCain and Clinton to win, but with the right's current disgust with McCain, I predict Huckleberry will eke out the victory.

observation #2: I used to like Ben Stein .. when he had the "Win Ben Stein's Money" game show on Comedy Central, or his incredibly boring delivery in the ClearEyes commercials. I didn't even mind (so much) that he was one of Nixon's speechwriters. But, over the past few years I've come to see him for what he really is: a delusional right-wing sociopath. Latest example: Is Ben Stein the new face of Creationism? by Roger Moore, in the Orlando Sentinel.

observation #3: Being the Philip Seymour Hoffman fan that I am, I had to see The Savages (2007) .. which is a thoroughly depressing film about the effect of Alzheimer's on a family. Recommended, but don't screen it when you're feeling blue .. it may send you over the edge.

Don O'Treply speaks!

Since today was the day that The Morons chose as "boycott gas stations day" I made sure to fill up my tank. It was $3.15 for premium and my credit card deducts 5% for gasoline purchases, so I paid $3/gallon.

Sometime around noon, I heard that Jerry Falwell died. He's the disgusting creature who, along with Ronald Reagan, elevated bigotry and hatred to new levels in American politics.

Bet #1: President Quagmire and his minions are hoping for a good photo op at Jerry's funeral.

Bet #2: James Dobson is already sniffing Falwell's corpse, wanting to know how he can get his hands on Jerry's Followers' money.

Bet #3: Jerry didn't leave a dime in his will to AIDS research.

What would make me happy? To see Fred Phelps picket Falwell's funeral .. that would be poetic justice. Maybe the KKK will fund their bus tickets? (Wednesday update: they're actually going to do this .. woo hoo!)

Finally, I'm thinking of changing my name to Don O'Treply. That would be so kewl to use in email. Hmmm.

a few less pundits : where's the harm?

I find it fascinating that the likes of Tom DeLay; Newt Gingrich and Rush Limbaugh are advocating arming everyone, to prevent more Virginia Tech massacres.

In the "what's good for the goose is good for the gander" mentality, I have yet to hear any of these sociopaths advocate bringing more guns into their own insular worlds. Whatever could go wrong if everyone entering Comedian Rush Limbaugh*'s studio of horrors came packing a 9mm handgun? Hell, he should Loan A Glock to anyone who enters without one. Eventually (a week or so), we'd end up with one less radio host, but at least we wouldn't stray from the Radical Right's reinterpretation of the Second Amendment. This is one place where they and the KKK are in complete agreement.

Everybody Knows™ that "well regulated militia" == "arm all the White Christian Republicans"

Ditto for the US Senate: I can't see a problem if everyone entering the Senate chambers was armed, just in case. If Gingrich and DeLay are so willing to arm every college student ...

well, okay, not all of them. Not the Darkies. Or the Women. Or the Orientals. Or the Mexicans. Or the Muslims (A-rabs).

.. why not go the extra step and remove all those metal detectors from government offices around the country? We'd surely save a bundle by sacking the security staffs .. maybe enough to fund Bush's Oil War another week or so.

* description courtesy "Countdown with Keith Olbermann", MSNBC (MicroSoft National Broadcasting Company)

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Everybody Knows is a trademark of the state-run media (Fox "News"); Rush Limbaugh Productions; and the Christian Fascist Republican Party.

what she said

I can't do The Virginia Tech Massacre much more justice than In the Pink Texas did already: Aiming into the Wind. Sure, I have some issues with the posting. The part about how it's okay to kill birds with a shotgun is repulsive; the solution of banning all pistols is horribly naive (and the "citation" remedy is straight out of President Quagmire's "How To Be A Good Precedent" [sic] handbook).

That said, there are parts of this posting that are worthwhile, especially the last paragraph. Yes, the gun lobby has paid off far too many politicians (under the guise of "targeted campaign contributions") to ever be reigned in, so the chance of a solution is z-e-r-o. Oops .. Zero with a capitol [sic] Z.

The "Pink blog post" reminds me of how conflicted I remain whenever I waddle over to the KKK's Blog .. I find myself agreeing with about half some of the stuff (President Quagmire's Regime), but the other half rest (primarily a series of racist rants) bears no semblance to sanity/reality. Example: their take on The Massacre is that it's the fault of our immigration policy which allows Asians (oops .. they say "Orientals") into this country in the first place. The KKK are absolute morons .. 98.6% of the time.

status quo no mo

As of late tonight, the news is that the Democrats control both the House and Senate, for the first time in many years. Now they face the challenge of acting responsibly so they don't find themselves with The Short Straw 2 years from now.

So much for my prediction last week, that the Republican Get Out The Vote Machine would flatten the Democrats again. At least my phone will stop ringing with those (anonymous) Out Of Area calls from Republicans wanting me to vote for their incumbents. Rick "Pretty Hair" Perry was re-elected as Texas Governor (39%), but Democrat Chris Bell won the Dallas County vote 40-35%.

Ref: dalcoelections.org

Even the Right Wing Dallas Morning News (they back Republicans about 70% of the time) had this to say today:

"Voters swept aside years of Republican domination in Dallas County on Tuesday, electing the county's first black district attorney, dumping the favored Republican county judge and giving dozens of GOP judgeships to Democrats. The upheaval was probably a surprise for many Republicans, including Dallas County Judge Margaret Keliher, who lost a squeaker to Democrat Jim Foster."

These "4x4" signs were not uncommon during the election.

Bad news: I still don't have a state Representative, since the ethically-challenged Republican incumbent won 52-46% (after running a smear campaign). Well, he'll show his face in another 2 years when he runs again .. until then, we won't see him (he'll be hiding in his gated community, if anyone cares).

Heck, it looks like even the Virginia racists (led by incumbent Senator Macaca (R-VA)) will lose, while Santorum (R-PA) went down in flames Big Time. Tester (D) beat Burns (R) in Montana. It's too bad Tennessee didn't elect Harold Ford, but the Republican challenger's racist TV ad snuffed that chance: this goes to show that the Deep South still won't elect a non-white to the US Senate, 141 years after The War Of Northern Aggression ended (1865).

Jill-Bob was amused to hear that I voted for quite a few Libertarians yesterday. Turns out that there were only Republican-vs-Libertarian candidates in many local races, so I voted against The Rovians at every opportunity (in those races, Libertarians consistently got 20-25%). Their base remains small, though .. in races against a sole Democratic challenger, they got about 3% on average (only a handful polled more than 10% versus a Democrat).

Me, well .. I'm still in favor of abolishing political parties so that voters will have to choose based on the candidate and not the party. And I'd still love to see term limits for the US Senate and Congress. I know .. dream on.

Finally (not to be missed): Politicians Sweep Midterm Elections / Resounding Victories In All States, Counties, Cities, Towns. Oh, how I adore The Onion!

the demise of the $10 bill

In the past several months, I've noticed the reluctance (?) of retailers to give me a $10 bill in change; rather, they commonly hand me two $5 bills instead. This has happened to me dozens of times (given that ATMs love to dispense $20 bills, it's only natural that I start with twenties and end up with a mix of 10/5/1* bills).

So .. what is it with the $10 bill that makes merchants want to hoard them? Or am I just imagining things?

* $2 bills? Yeah, right. Like you've seen one of those outside a theme park, or a survey, within the last twenty years.

When Gene Bob becomes King, he'll make the $1 bill (paper) illegal, and mandate a redesigned $1 coin (maybe with a hole in the middle). I'll also get rid of the penny (1¢ coin) and replace it with a 2¢ coin, with Dilbert's face on the front. All change would be rounded to the nearest 2¢.

Deep thought #666: have you ever noticed how members of the KKK won't accept a penny as change, because it has Abraham Lincoln's photo on the face? I suspect they think a penny in their hand would burn through their flesh.

And everyone would live happily ever after. The End.

Grammar Lesson

I really should take the day off; it's Victoria Day in Canada. Here in the US, we acknowledge the holiday by saying "eh" at least 2 dozen times, eh?

Deep Thought: I wonder if English teachers in Canada diagram sentences ending with [eh].

I'm not sure how the Canucks acknowledge our similar holiday ("President's Day"). When I was growing up, we had the twin holidays of Lincoln's birthday and Washington's birthday, since combined into one to make way for Martin Luther King's birthday.

A few days ago, I read one of David Duke(of Louisiana KKK fame)'s opinions that America's two worst presidents were (in order) Abraham Lincoln and Franklin Roosevelt (the former for freeing the slaves and the latter for getting us into World War II). In Duke's mind, the Japanese wouldn't have bombed Pearl Harbor if we hadn't embargoed them, and the Holocaust is a myth (Iran's president Ahmadinejad must be a Klansman, too).

Sometimes I read Duke's rants and find myself agreeing (when he says President Quagmire is among the worst presidents), then he opens his mouth with these distortions of history and I have to wonder whether he's growing his own crack down in Louisiana.

Anyway ... the faux-French in Québec don't acknowledge Her Majesty The Queen, so instead of Victoria Day, they're busy celebrating Fête des Patriotes (a/k/a the Lower Canada Rebellion). It's only a matter of time before they succeed in seceding, eh?.

Red State Translation

Yesterday's Dallas Managed News included a letter from a Red Blooded Texan, axing [sic] them not to use The New York Times as an information source:

"The Times is a radical, liberal, anti-American newspaper originating in an area that is totally out of touch with the rest of the nation. Too many of its writers are feminist, racist bigots. It is past time for you to stop trying to brainwash us with Times propaganda. We are not East Coast liberals. Would you please give that some priority when deciding what to print?"

The problem is that he was too shy (!) to write what he really meant:

"I don't never want to read no opinions other than my own or my TaliBaptist preecher. Everybody Knows™ that everbody outside Texas is a JEW who don't worship The Dallas Cowboy Cheerleaders, so they're all surely goin' straight to H-E-Double-L, just like it says in The Good Book. Anyone who doesn't believe the way I do is probably a Nigg-ro or a Mekse-kin, too. If yew don't agree, c'mon down to the Flea Market (I make a livin' sellin EarWax Cleaning Supplies) and I'll fight ya out back.

Hmm .. and the NY Times articles were the only ones I consistently read, in what would otherwise be Just Another Fascist Republican newspaper.

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Everybody Knows is a trademark of Fox "News"; Rush Limbaugh Productions; and the CFRP.

stocking up on coat hangers

It didn't surprise me to see that the Texas Governor (Rick "Pretty Hair" Perry) was busy being himself (a narrow minded bigot) in Fort Worth last weekend: Governor Signs Abortion Bill At Fort Worth Church. He's trying to do what Karl Rove told President Quagmire what to do earlier .. align himself with the CFRP.

The "Abortion Bill" they're talking about is more properly called the Parental Notification Bill, which says that minors must get their parents' permission before having an abortion. While that may sound Fine And Good to The Stoopid Parents (not all Parents are Stoopid), reality says that a teenager who finds herself pregnant will do one of these things, now that this is Law:

1. while eating her macaroni and cheese dinner, casually ask mommy and daddy if it's okay to get an abortion (they may be unaware that Little Billy across the street -- or even Weird Uncle Dave is the father);
2. take the bus to Oklahoma (or Louisiana, or New Mexico) where they don't need daddy/mommy's permission;
3. find one of those old-fashioned wire coat hangers (plastic ones just won't do) and give herself an abortion

I guess it's time to stock up on wire coat hangers; I'll be able to sell them for big bucks now that "Pretty Hair" has signed the Parental Notification Bill into law.

Perhaps I could package it into a pretty retail box (pink? tangerine?) and call it "Rick Perry's Parental Notification Avoidance Kit". Setting any ethics aside (if Karl Rove can do it, so can I), my main concern is determining the appropriate pricing. I'll have to determine the cost of a Greyhound ticket to Oklahoma City, for starters ...

Long Distance - Choose Your Bigot

Now here's an interesting juxtaposition: United American Technologies (also called UAT) is a gay-bashing long distance carrier based in Oklahoma City. There are several recordings of their sales pitches on the web; I heard one on ABC News where they basically said that MCI, Verizon, etc. (basically Everyone But Them) are run by Satan Himself. Amazing. I wonder if a percentage of UAT's prophets profits go to setting homosexuals ablaze?

In contrast, there's Working Assets, described as a progressive/liberal/whatever long distance carrier.

I suppose none of this should surprise me.